How is your eye contact? Do you look people in the eyes while talking to them?
50% of the time?
80% of the time?
Studies say we should make between 50-70% eye contact during a conversation. However, realistically most people fall in the 30-50% range…
Not a big deal?
You may think so…
But studies have shown that people who make higher-levels of eye contact with others are perceived as:
- More dominant and powerful
- More warm and personable
- More attractive and likeable
- More qualified, skilled, and valuable
- More confident and emotionally stable
- More trustworthy, honest, and sincere
Now those sound like qualities that I want others to see in me.
Maintaining eye contact with someone in this day and age isn’t easy with all of the distractions around us. But it’s a vital skill that can make all the difference in your love, work and daily life.
Today, we are going to explore eye contact. So read on for some helpful tips so you can use eye contact to convey trust to nail your next job interview or first date.
I know you’ve heard the phrase “the eyes are the windows to the soul.” And it’s true, the eyes are a far more readable part of the body than just about any other. Strive to maintain eye contact with someone during a conversation. You will show that you’re not only interested in what the other person is saying, but you can also tell if they are interested in what you are saying.
Of course, good eye contact isn’t the only ingredient needed for a good conversation. But you aren’t here to learn about having an interesting chat, you’re here to learn some tips about eye contact, so, let’s get to the tips!
Top Tips for using eye contact to convey trust
1. Maintain eye contact while YOU are speaking.
Think about it for a second. It’s easy to look into someone’s eyes while they are speaking, we do it every day without thinking about it. However, when it comes time for our own input, we start looking anywhere other than the person’s eyes we’re talking to.
In you next conversation look them in the eyes when you are talking. It’ll make them feel as though they are the only person in the world. If you want to guarantee they remember speaking with you and leave a powerful impact, try it out.
This strategy might take some practice. It may throw you off a bit, but once you’ve it nailed, your words will be much more impactful.
2. Look at the color of the person’s eyes
When was the last time you looked deep into someone’s eyes?
Not just at, someone’s eye but into them.
Our eyes are extraordinary, the little hints of green in brown eyes, the green streaks in blue eyes, the patterns and striations are one-of-a-kind.
You can see why St. Jerome waxed poetically and said, “And eyes, without speaking, confess the secrets of the heart.” T
If you want to convey that deep, meaningful eye contact that makes the other person feel connected to you, like the rest of the world has melted away, then focus on looking into someone’s eyes and not just at them.
This tip is particularly helpful in dating situations. It conveys not only trust but a longing, soul-searching look that many people find attractive.
Warning: Some people can also find it a bit creepy. So please, don’t spend too long starting awkwardly at strangers.
Eye contact imparts a sense of intimacy to your exchanges. It leaves the receiver of your gaze feeling more positive about your interaction and more connected to you.
Making greater eye contact with others is one of the easiest ways to increase the quality of your face-to-face interactions.
I won’t go into all the detail here… you can read an awesome article on eye contact from the Art of Manliness but there are 4 main reasons that eye contact is so important.
1. Our eyes were made to connect.
2. Our eyes reveal our thoughts and feelings.
3. Eye contact shows attention
4. Eye contact creates an intimate bond.
Now, there are plenty of other tips for eye contact, some of which I’m sure we will cover in other articles and other videos over on our YouTube channel. If you want to know some more right now, take a look at Steven Aitchis’ article all about eye contact skills.
Don’t forget to look at the other blog posts on the Secret Sauce Life and subscribe to our YouTube channel to find even more ways to improve your life and learn the skills that make life a little easier.
If you have an eye contact tip to share with the world, leave it in the comments below.
Oh, before we go, always remember the wise words of Douglas Coupland on eye contact “Making eye contact with adults while dressed as a clown is risky!” And probably quite confusing for everyone!
If you’d rather watch me talk about eye contact than read anymore, then click on the video below.
Either way, start making more eye contact and watch others react to you with more authority, trustworthiness, and importance.