Avoid These 5 Common Manner Mistakes & Be Loved by Everyone
Do your remember being told to mind your manners as a child? Of course!
Saying please and thank you wasn’t an option. It was mandatory. Often punished by missing dessert and be sent to bed early!
So if we remember manners being so important, what has happened to the world? Why are we so rude to each other now? We used to live in Miami, which was recently voted the rudest city in America. Surprisingly, the wonderful folks in Miami don’t disagree. Saying hello to a neighbour often resulted in strange looks or even crossing the street to get away from social interaction.
I’m not just bashing Miami as I’m sure this is similar to a lot of large cities. But what happened to the human in humanity? The niceties of a small town are lost. The days of small talk on the corner and borrowing a cup of sugar from your neighbour are long gone.
Where did the manners go? Why has ignoring one another become the norm? My theory is that the increase in digital devices has a lot to do with our declining face to face communication skills. Technology isn’t inherently evil, and in many ways technology has brought us together as a society in ways we could have never imagined.
However, our growing inability to limit ‘screen time’ paired with an addiction to the instant gratification of likes, retweets, and new followers has completely shifted how we communicate and interact in the real world. And not always for the better…
Here are 5 manner mistakes that you should avoid to put your best foot forward. Remember, if you can make someone feel better after they’ve had a conversation with you, you’ll be remembered, and great manners can help you achieve this.
5 Manner Mistakes to Avoid Like the Plague!
1. Put Your Phone Down!
Yes, I know your Facebook status might be important to you, but when you’re talking to someone in person, they should be the focal point of your attention. Why? Because people want to feel important, they don’t want to be shoved into the background while you check out a new Snapchat filter or tossed to the side while you watch the latest cat video on YouTube.
If someone is trying to talk to you, put your phone down and actually have a conversation with them. It’s simple. Focus on them, not on your phone. Doing this will make people remember you because it’s such a rare course of action. Don’t use your phone as a social crutch, start talking, be curious, and have a real conversation with the people around you.
Who knows, you might actually enjoy it.
2. Have Patience With Others
Do you talk over people? Are your conversations one-sided? An engaging conversation is a two-way street with input from both parties. When speaking, be sure to have patience and give others a chance to respond. There’s this skill set, listening, that’s incredibly underused in most interactions today. In face-to-face conversations maintain eye contact and ask quality questions. Then, be ready to listen to the answer.
Dale Carnegie said it best, “If you want to be interesting, start by being interested.”
Patience is crucial in the digital world as well. If someone doesn’t answer your message right away, they might be busy, they might not be glued to their phone like you or, as crazy as it sounds, they might have it turned off or have left it at home. Understand that they’ll most likely get back to you, there’s no need to send them a hundred texts and ask them why they hate you!
3. Please Don’t Interrupt
Interrupting others conveys that you think you and your story are more important than the person you are speaking with. It has become commonplace for people to talk over one another. Remember, a conversation isn’t a competition, it is a chat, let the other person speak as well. Allowing the other person to speak is more than simply remaining quiet, but actively listening. Nod your head when you understand and answer questions that come your way. If you want others to listen and pay attention to you then you must do the same in return.
4. Be on time
I was late for EVERYTHING growing up (sorry Mom) so being late is a big pet peeve of mine. Whether it’s a job interview, dinner reservation, or a coffee date please show up on time. I know, you want to be “fashionably late” but to lots of people it isn’t fashionable, it’s rude.
Being late can create a poor first impression. No one likes to sit around waiting until you decide it’s time to meet them. When you say a time to meet someone, be there at that time. If you are running late, let them know, it doesn’t take long to write a text message, and it saves them having to sit there twiddling their thumbs.
5. Make introductions
I have been guilty of forgetting to do this myself in the past. When you’re at an event of any sort and you know multiple groups of people, introduce them to one another. This will make the event much easier for you as well. Both groups will begin to mingle instead of remaining split and leaving you to divide your time. Introducing people gives them an icebreaker, a little bit of information about one another, a chance to talk while you, the reason they met in the first place, are there to help them through the first few moments of awkward conversation.
I know these tips are not revolutionary, but they are important if you want to be the best version of yourself.
